In my clinic and my life I am really open that I don’t drink and that I had an issue with alcohol.
At first, I was so ashamed.
I thought I was weak, there was something wrong with me, I was flawed, broken.
You see, I had to have gastric bypass surgery for Barrett’s Oesophagus as both my Nan and her son (my uncle) died from oesophageal cancer and I had significant changes happening from severe reflux. It was from that moment my relationship with alcohol changed.
In fairness to my medical colleagues, they didn’t know what we now know about alcohol and weight loss surgery.
However, what upsets me now, is there is still a lack of discussion around alcohol and weight loss surgery. I have numerous clients who have had gastric sleeving performed. None have been told about the potential issues they may face with alcohol. How it makes us feel, its uptake, the impact it has on our bodies and how quickly an addiction can develop. This is all currently being researched. A lot of these clients have issues with alcohol.
The first step to moderating or ceasing drinking is making a decision.
I knew my drinking was escalating…fast! So I went and saw a GP to request assistance. I was shamed and embarrassed by this doctor. I remember sitting in my car in the car park crying. I just didn’t know what to do.
I was very blessed to have a friend who is married to a psychiatrist. I reached out to her and asked her if her hubby would feel comfortable in seeing me. I knew by doing this, our social ties would be severed, but I trusted him and I was terrified by how quickly alcohol was taking over. I had an appointment within a week.
I was placed on a medication called Acamprosate. From the day I commenced that medication (which I took for 6months), I haven’t had a drink. It’s been over 5 years. This medication helped my brain work without alcohol. So the fog started to lift and I had breathing room. I started exercise and seeing a counsellor.
I had to stop going out and no alcohol was kept in the house. It was a tough 12 months. I had people leave my life, party invites dried up and the only way I could manage social events was to arrive late and leave early.
I’ve left parties because I’d been called boring, told I can’t be trusted because I don’t drink, offered drinks repeatedly by people who know why I don’t drink.
I have been told I make people uncomfortable or that I will remember what they did when drunk.
The funny thing is; I don’t care what you do with alcohol. I’m navigating me. If you want a drink, great! If you don’t; great! I just don’t care.
What I care about is being respected when I say no. No is No. Plain and simple.
So what are my tips?
Get yourself a good GP, NP or alcohol and other drug clinic. They can help you navigate the medical pathway.
Find a qualified, specialist counsellor/psychologist in the AOD space. Often trauma is involved with alcohol misuse, so it is important that you see someone skilled and trained in this area.
Exercise!
Be open about your journey. This is super hard to do, but, when it comes to dinner parties and nights out, you can take control and offer to make your own and others a mocktail.
Be the designated driver and always plan ahead. It makes a huge difference.
Embrace a life that is alcohol free. No hangovers, early morning walks, no lost days! I have saved a heap of money not buying booze or paying for Ubers. Amen to that!!!
These are just a few of the steps I have taken to stop drinking, and, let me tell you, I feel super proud of myself. I don’t feel shame anymore. Nor should I!
I wanted to share my story so others can find strength from what I have done. Believe me, if I can, you can.
Bek x
